Parenting: Why Finding Perfect Balance is Unachievable

As a busy mom of two young boys, I am struggling to constantly try to find the perfect balance between being a great parent, having a successful job and a healthy relationship with my spouse while keeping my home tidy and putting healthy meals on the table, all at the same time. Have I managed to find it? Nope. Instead, I often feel tired and burnt out. My husband feels the same way.

Are we alone searching for that elusive harmony? Is this something that other parents find easily or is this something we are all struggling with on a daily bases?

Just talking with my friends who have similar situations, we all feel the same way. Looking for perfect and balance just isn’t achievable. At least not in my case or my friend’s. However, if you do feel like you have found that perfect balance, please do share below. We are happy to hear any tips you have.

Parenting: Why Finding Perfect Balance is Unachievable

Something some people struggle greatly with is having personal time or alone time to pursue their own interests. I grew up in a very close family and being together all the time was the norm, so I am used to not getting time alone, and it doesn’t bother me as much. However, some people really need their space to decompress and to gather their thoughts. How do they manage to get a healthy amount of personal time while dealing with everything else, especially when the children are young? How do you find that balance without failing at some of the other areas?

I think letting go of the expectations of perfection and having to achieve complete balance is a good first step. Trying our best at keeping on top of all the areas in our lives that need attention is achievable and possible, but figuring it all out isn’t. If having a bit less alone time now, when the kids are young, and they need us the most means a stronger bond with your family, then making that sacrifice doesn’t sound so bad. Does it?

I would love to hear from other families going through this and how they manage to balance their time to make it all work. Have you found the perfect balance that works for you? Or are you still working on that? Share your tips on keeping things working in all areas, while still taking time to reconnect and decompress on your own.

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Angela V

Founder and Writer at One Smiley Monkey blog
Hi, my name is Angela van Tijn and I live in Vancouver, Canada with my wonderful husband, our two boys and our puppy. I am the founder and primary contributor behind One Smiley Monkey. Welcome to my blog!
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19 responses to “Parenting: Why Finding Perfect Balance is Unachievable”

  1. Diana S — May 7, 2019 @ 11:15 am (#)

    I don’t think it’s achievable either. We put too much pressure on ourselves and it just doesn’t happen. Leaving us frustrated and tired! You do what you can, that’s that.

  2. kristen visser — May 7, 2019 @ 11:38 am (#)

    I am still working on accepting that my house will not always be clean. especially with a baby its hard to break for house cleaning and i am happy if i can even get the laundry done. but a do a little each day so instead of overwhelming myself to clean the whole house in a day, i do a little bit each day and dont regret it if i cannot get to it for some reason

  3. Stephanie LaPlante — May 7, 2019 @ 12:13 pm (#)

    Our family has similar struggles. Alone time is rare and busy schedules are overwhelming. We try taking one day a week to focus on fun together.

  4. Emily John — May 7, 2019 @ 6:40 pm (#)

    The struggle is real! It’s definitely not easy and some days are much harder than some but my husband helps out a lot and it helps us to manage. We also ask for help when it get tough.

  5. Elizabeth Matthiesen — May 9, 2019 @ 10:21 am (#)

    Having had 7 children definitely meant that nothing was perfect, getting all the washing for 9 done and put away was a huge chore in itself. I also never used a dryer as I loved the washing drying outside. However I was pretty laid back and didn’t let things bug me too much, no one’s perfect and it’s much better to have happy children and dirty floors than the other way around. 🙂

  6. Nicole A. Sauvageau — May 10, 2019 @ 6:06 am (#)

    I also have the same mind set. We are not robots and can’t get everything done in a day that needed to get done. I say oh well there’s always tomorrow.

  7. ivy pluchinsky — May 10, 2019 @ 4:52 pm (#)

    The struggle is so real! Oh parenthood and all its stresses and problems

  8. Myrna — May 10, 2019 @ 5:23 pm (#)

    When you get to be my age and a mother of 4 wonderful children with mates and spouses and children and a husband you
    Learn to take a deep breath and chill, there is always tomorrow or another day life is to short to worry about it

  9. Sharianne Steptoe — May 10, 2019 @ 7:20 pm (#)

    I just try to remind myself that it won’t always be this way. Your right to say it’s a sacrifice worth giving . I love it.

  10. Elizabeth Anne — May 10, 2019 @ 7:23 pm (#)

    It’s hard and this article hits home to us all. We want perfect but what is more important having things just so while losing ourself? Or a happy mom family who do their best and go with the flow. Don’t stress the small stuff. I don’t want on my tombstone “ she kept a great house clean and organized”. I’d rather have “she took time to take care of herself and had time for her kids. “. There will be lots of time when they get older and move out to have it all done
    Elizabeth Anne (fb)

  11. Janet M — May 11, 2019 @ 1:38 pm (#)

    It is not possible to have a perfect balance and we shouldn’t want it as we need to have a fun carefree life.

  12. Ankita mittal — May 12, 2019 @ 6:24 am (#)

    I believe it is every other house story to find a balance in life. Thanks for the amazing topic discussion here.

  13. Lynda Cook — May 12, 2019 @ 10:23 am (#)

    When my girls were young it was always them and me together, and now that they are own their own, it’s just me and hubby and I miss the togetherness, it gets pretty lonely!

  14. Tammi L. — May 12, 2019 @ 2:20 pm (#)

    One thing that I’ve learned is to make it a game for the kids. If I haven’t put together a great meal then it meant a picnic of sliced cucumber and cherry tomatoes, cold chicken, fruit – and/or whatever else was in the fridge – on a blanket in front of the tv for movie night. If things were getting crazy messy it was time to turn up the music and have short races to see who could do the most but still sing and dance at the same time… you get it. Things were never perfect but we wouldn’t want to miss out!

  15. Sarah Ferguson — May 12, 2019 @ 8:09 pm (#)

    My mom has always reminded me to ditch the perfection. I think, however, a lot of people feel burnt out because of technology. We never take the time to disconnect. Even if we’re trying to relax there is always a screen with notifications going off. Some days I wish we lived in a time before screens existed. Life seemed easier. I worry about this as my son grows up.

  16. Elizabeth Matthiesen — May 20, 2019 @ 8:18 am (#)

    It’s very difficult to balance life and it’s never perfect anyway. I think that it’s a good job that women can multitask as well as they do or nothing would be accomplished.

  17. Micheline — May 21, 2019 @ 1:28 pm (#)

    No one is perfect, life these days is pretty tough as it is without worrying if everything is in place. It will get done just maybe not today.

  18. Twingle Mommy — May 23, 2019 @ 5:38 am (#)

    I don’t think the perfect balance is achievable. I work part time and feel burnt out trying to get everything done. Something always gets left out (usually the me time). I think we all just have to do what is best for our families and make adjustments as to how we spend our time as needed.

  19. loucheryl (Cheryl Morreale) — May 29, 2019 @ 6:03 pm (#)

    Balance is so hard. There are just so many things to get done. I feel like I’m drowning somedays. It’s too exhausting.

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