How to Make Mommy Friends Without Losing Your Mind

Remember when you were a kid and making friends was a matter of liking the same doll or needing a goalie for a soccer game? Making friends when you’re a new mom however, can be like dating or a job interview. Many new (or new again) moms are already overwhelmed and stressed out and the idea of having to get showered and dressed and leave the house with a new baby can be a bit too much. Other moms, like my friend Lyndsey, found that the traditional mom group she tried out was mostly moms far older or far younger than her, which made it hard for her to “click” with anybody.

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My friend Ashley has 4 boys under age 8 (supermom right?) and the logistics of just getting anywhere can be unrealistic most days between naps, school pick-ups/drop offs and sports. Whereas another one of my friends found herself in a city she didn’t grow up in and didn’t know anybody at all. She also found talking to moms she didn’t know difficult and awkward. That being said, getting out of the house and socializing when you have a baby is incredibly healthy and can help a new mom avoid loneliness and isolation. There are many ways a new mom can find like-minded mommies in their area, but here are some that may not have crossed your radar.

Fitness Classes: When you’re a new mom, anything that allows you to multitask should be a priority. Going to a mommy bootcamp, yoga or fitness class is killing two birds with one stone at its very best. Many mom-friendly fitness classes are scheduled at nap-friendly times or have multiple time slots so you don’t have to miss class every week due to an erratic or unpredictable sleep schedule.

The Park: Seems obvious doesn’t it? So many moms hesitate to approach other mommies, but when I had my older kid the first close friendships I made were with mommies I met at our local park. At first we would see each other every now and then and that turned into chatting about the kids, which then morphed into post-park coffee dates and playdates. If you make eye contact and both smile, go for it! The worst that can happen is you don’t make a mommy connection, but at least you have somebody to chat with while the kids toddle around.

Coffee Shop: Most mommies are in constant need of caffeine. It’s not uncommon to hit your favourite coffee shop or bakery/café around the same time each day or week and see the same mommy or mommies there enjoying their own pick-me-up. This is the perfect time to start up a chat since you can easily joke about the need for the coffee or ask about their baby.

Social Media: Sure, we all use social media (or the vast majority of us anyways), but some of us may not be aware of the huge number of mom-based pages that can lead to actual friendships. Personally I joined a group for moms in Canada expecting December babies. There are less than 50 members in the group and we have all gotten to “know” each other over the last year so well that most of us have met up in our respective provinces since the babies have been born. We “chat” every day and have been an amazing support to each other over the past year. I don’t doubt for a second that I will continue to correspond and keep in touch with these women for many years to come. When I asked the moms why the online forum worked so well, one mom felt it was so much easier to be open and honest (which is often the case online) while another mentioned that having women from all over the country ensures that at any given time somebody would be awake and available. My friend Barb pointed out that she really appreciates that when she is posting on the page she can type of her thoughts and read them before she sends them off, often editing or re-writing when she feels necessary.

Have you made some amazing mommy friends? Where did you snag them?

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Jen Shragge is a yoga instructor and all around eco-diva. She now lives back in her hometown of Toronto after ten years in the Vancouver area. Jen’s days are filled by her seven year old son and husband plus her toddler who was crazy enough to make her arrival on Christmas Day. In her spare time, (do moms really have spare time!?) Jen is a stylist for Peekaboo Beans, a play-focused quality children's clothing line.

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12 responses to “How to Make Mommy Friends Without Losing Your Mind”

  1. loriag — August 9, 2015 @ 6:52 am (#)

    Can I add a couple of places that were helpful when I had wee ones, we had a children’s drop in center where Mom’s brought all ages to play and interact. I also would suggest a baby swim class.

    Reply

  2. Anne Taylor — August 9, 2015 @ 10:46 am (#)

    My daughters, one who has a 4 month old and one who has a 5 day old are/have hooked up with local mom groups through facebook!

    Reply

  3. mrdisco — August 9, 2015 @ 2:31 pm (#)

    coffee shops are a great place to meet people

    Reply

  4. Dandi D — August 10, 2015 @ 4:14 am (#)

    These are some great tips, and everyone needs good mommy friends!

    Reply

  5. Laurie P — August 10, 2015 @ 9:23 am (#)

    I met a lot of new friends at playgroup. A lot tougher meeting people in this new town than when I lived in the city. But all is well 🙂

    Reply

  6. Julie — August 13, 2015 @ 4:58 am (#)

    Thanks for the tips!

    Reply

  7. Melinda L. — August 13, 2015 @ 5:51 am (#)

    I agree, social media is a great way to connect with other people, especially if you are shy or uncomfortable approaching someone in real life.

    Reply

  8. Elizabeth Matthiesen — August 13, 2015 @ 6:20 pm (#)

    When my children were babies there was hardly any internet and few had a computer. I was lucky I found a breast feeding group where I went once a week and with my first child two friends had a baby at roughly the same time so we could compare notes too.

    Reply

  9. Aliya D — August 16, 2015 @ 1:17 pm (#)

    May I also suggest joining non-mom related MeetUp groups where some of your interests lie (like photography, hiking, etc.)? I find a lot of mom’s are part of these groups and its a great way to meet people. Thanks!

    Reply

  10. kathy downey — October 31, 2015 @ 11:25 am (#)

    When you become a Mom you can do many task at once

    Reply

  11. kathy downey — November 12, 2015 @ 11:50 am (#)

    Playgroup are great for meeting people

    Reply

  12. kathy downey — February 28, 2016 @ 9:56 am (#)

    I believe its harder today to be a mom than it was 30 year ago when i raised mine

    Reply

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