By Contributor Tamara Goyette
I am married to an incredible man, and we have a wonderful little girl. I also have a job, a career, I chose for myself almost 6 years ago. After my daughter was born I was instantly torn about returning back to work and my desire to become a stay at home Mom. I needed to return to work though. We had bought a home to call our own only 10 months before our daughter’s birth. That purchase decision was based on many factors, including my income contributions from working. As the months passed during my maternity leave I started to miss my job that I had also loved doing before my daughter’s arrival. I was overwhelmed with emotions, and questions about what I needed to do, and what I wanted to do.
With returning to work, I found myself in a constant balancing act between being a loving wife, a doting mother, and a good employee. I am trying to make sure that none of these areas in my life feel like they do not have 100% of my attention and commitment. However, there are times where I do feel like I am struggling. I am always trying though, and that I find to be extremely important. To always be trying, and dedicating myself to being wife, mother, and employee.
I do believe that priorities need to be made, as well as compromises. My family, my husband and our daughter, are my main priority. When I am with them I dedicate my time and attention to them. I feel that it is extremely important to spend time together as a family. We will spend time playing in the living room, and making a mess of the laundry while playing peek-a-boo, or we will enjoy different outings together, whether it’s to the park, or to the aquarium. Sometimes our best moments, and most wonderful memories have come from the most spur of the moment, and impulsive ideas we have. Such as rushing to the beach, so that we can all enjoy the sunset, and my daughter can walk on the beach for the first time. Our time together is so valuable; we are making memories to cherish forever.
I had to compromise with my heart’s desire to stay home, and return back to work. This also meant needing to accept that this decision would mean not having as much time during the day, as I had while on maternity leave, for being with my family. Returning back to was a challenge; I had a very hard time transitioning back into work mode. The transition was made easier with understanding co-workers. Who had been there themselves, and understood what I was going through emotionally, because they had once made the decision to return back to work after their maternity leave was over too. While I am at work I remain focused and dedicated to my job. I love what I do, and each day is different and unique. My job challenges me, and constantly keeps me on my toes. As soon as I am in the car home though, it is back into Wife-Mommy mode.
During the work week, when my daughter has finally gone to bed for the night that is when we have our time to relax, and catch up together, as a couple. Sometimes we even get a babysitter and go out for a date night. It is so important to spend time together and stay connected. Sure there are days, especially on weekends when we are trying to cram what seems like a week’s worth of activities and errands into one day. Those times are when it seems nearly impossible to put each other first. We make it happen though. It might be an offer to make tea for the other person in the morning, or a kiss on the cheek at random times throughout the day. Those little moments help keep everything in balance, a constant reminder that we love one another, and that we are still each other’s main priority.
Finding some resemblance of what feels like balance has not been easy. Sometimes what, or who has precedence occurs in that moment of time. Since returning back to work, I have found a whole new appreciation and love for my job, my husband, and my daughter. I enjoy my time out of the home during the day. I also value the time I have with my family much more. My love for my family is the main part of what drives me to make it all work. Finding balance in all of this has been a learning curve for me, one I am still trying to figure out. What is working right now may have to be revisited again in the future. Looking for balance is a daily thing. It comes down to what I consider to be my priorities, making choices, and a whole lot of dedication to being the best employee, mother, and wife I can be.
How do you find balance as a working mom?
Tamara Goyette is a loving wife, and mother to a very determined little girl. The Fraser Valley area of the Lower Mainland in British Columbia has always been home. She loves reading a good book while curled up in a blanket, and sipping a cup of tea. Her blog is about her family, and the adventures, and activities they get up to at Discovering Parenthood.